Green Eggs & Controversy

With Easter quickly approaching, attention was once again raised over statistics from last April which unearthed a disproportionate number of green eggs present in Easter Baskets across the country. Furthermore, the study revealed that the average American home was likely to include only eggs of the primary colors in their holiday baskets.

The study conducted, which cost taxpayers an estimated 4.8 million dollars, confirmed what many suspected; that for most Americans, busy lifestyles no longer permitted time for the complexity of mixing colors.

“It can be very confusing,” admitted one mother who was surveyed. “And I work a full time job,” she added, “Who has the time for that kind of creativity?”

“What do you mean primary colors?” another woman replied.

But if it’s true that the average American simply does not have the time for the blending of hues, why was there such focus on the color green? What about orange and purple?

“This is about the children,”  commented a local scientist who participated in the study. “There are no children’s stories about orange or purple eggs. We just all felt strongly that no child should be deprived of green eggs with their Easter ham.”

In attempt to address the aforementioned problem, a new law was passed which shall require the inclusion of a ready-to-use, green dye with all variety packs of food coloring distributed, beginning April 1^st of 2011.