A vice is a vice is a vice

So much for accountability. I haven’t posted on here in a couple weeks. This is my bad. No other reasons besides forgetfulness, laziness, and of course, wait for it, notgivingashitness. But here I am, and here is my report. I have as of last check lost 20 pounds. Which is awesome. Down to 340. Shameful to say down to 340, but at least I am saying down. I am having some problems with the results I am getting. Not that they aren’t good, but for some reason I want crazy losses every time I get on the scale. I understand that it is process, but that doesn’t change a fucking thing about what I want to see. I just have to come to grips with the fact that I am not on The Biggest Loser. I know I am not on The Biggest Loser because of the following proof:
1. I don’t lose double digits every time I get on the scale.
2. I have not, as of yet, cried into a camera every time I do, or someone else does something mean. Or good. Or bad. Or indifferent. Yet
3. I have not, nor will I, take my shirt off in front of Alison Sweeney.
I do have a new addiction. It used to be smoking from when I was 14 to when I was 30. I may have been drinking for a rough patch when I was 26. It has always been eating shitty foods, up until a few weeks ago. Now, drum roll, my new addiction is getting on the scale. I find myself standing on it at least twice a day. it doesn’t really bother me, except that I am doing it without even knowing why I am doing it. Annoying. And people tell me this is a bad idea. Which brings me to my next gripe.
Everyone has advice for me. I get it, you want to help, and I don’t want to be rude. However, I don’t need to hear the following things:
1. You know what you should do…?
2. Know what works…?
3. What I like doing…
4. My best advice to you is…
5. Don’t eat after 8…
6. You sure are fat
Ya know, I kinda like that last one.

Follow me here

http://rickmatthewscomedy.tumblr.com

Rick Matthews

Although raised in a small farm town south of Buffalo, Rick Matthews has a point of view that differs from those that are usually born out of small town life. Taking the bumpy points from his road of life and turning them into fodder for your enjoyment and his own personal therapy session are what have quickly earned him a reputation in the Western New York comedy community. Rick has opened for various national headliners, including Rich Vos, Jim Florentine, Sean Patton, Alysia Wood, and most recently, featured for a sold out Doug Stanhope, and was recently named Funniest Person in Buffalo after winning the 2012 Buffalo Laugh-Off Comedy Contest. Rick is the co-founder of the Rust Belt Comedy Tour and is current host of the Rust Belt Comedy Showcase every Tuesday at Nietzsche's in Buffalo, NY.

More Posts - Website